Living Nightmare
by Seena58
Summary: Post manga. Misha has gone back to heaven, yet Kotarou keeps on having nightmares. But they're just that, right? Nothing more. But as it seems, caring for someone just isn't enough... COMPLETE
1. Prologue: One Sided Conversations

Disclaimers: I don't own it.

Okay, second fanfic, haven't finished the first, and even three months later, I still don't have volume eight. That's putting me off. This is set after the manga, though, and pretty much deals with… yeah. We'll find out soon enough.

000

Prologue: One-Sided Conversations

That dream came back to me.

I woke up so suddenly; I used to think that it was real. But it isn't. At least, not now.

A nightmare, to be precise. It was something incomprehensible, but it was so real, so painful, so… it just hurt to think about it. Swallowed into the curse of the night, I could not find you. You, who protected me from such fears so many times prior.

I was falling.

You would reach out, call to me, try to catch me, despite the fact that there was no way you could stop what was to happen.

I reached back, I screamed your name, I wanted to be caught; but it was too late.

I was swallowed by the darkness. And then… there was nothing. Nothing all around me; and I was so scared.

…

Why is that I am so afraid? Why am I so weak? Why do I keep on fearing of this one thing and refuse to move on?

But no matter how ridiculous my fears were, or how absurd the idea was, you listened to me. You told me that 'it was alright', that I had nothing to be afraid of, as long as you were there.

And I believed you.

I still believe you.

Safety. What is in that word? Does that mean that I will be protected for the rest of my life? I suppose, but I think the word alone will not be enough to keep me going forwards. Just knowing that you are there with me keeps me safe, keeps me happy, keeps me from hiding away from others.

Do you still watch over me?

Can you still hear me?

I hope so; I know so. But the nightmare continues to plague at the worst times possible. I don't understand and that is what scares me the most. My friends don't seem to understand as well as you do, but then again, would they understand how I used to be able to see angels and demons; otherworldly spirits? At the most, they would think I was just messing with their minds. But I'm not, and I don't want them to think of me like that, so I don't talk about it.

That's why I talk to you.

How many times have I seen the same vision? How many times will I continue to see it? I don't like it, I'm scared of it, and I don't see why I'm… why I'm so weak about this one small fact.

But you'll listen to me, won't you? I may not be able to see you, but I know you can hear me.

It's just a petty fear anyway. Heh, not like it'll be a real thing in life now… right? I mean, it's not like…

I should stop thinking about these kind of things. They're so stupid, anyway.

You listened, didn't you? I know you would have, so… thank you. I feel much better now.

Thank you, Misha-san.

000

_Kotarou-kun…_

_What you say isn't foolishness, nor does it make you sound like a selfish child. Everyone has a fear in your life, and some are worse than others._

_What you experienced through childhood hurt you, and that was what made you keep away from the others. I understand this, and that was why I wanted to help you even more. You were a child who needed a little guidance on the way, and I was there to provide it for you._

_Kotarou-kun, you're still learning to be yourself and to love yourself for who you are. You have many qualities that you failed to notice, and it was only later that you worked out how many people cared about you._

_And that was why I was there for you._

_You needed someone who could listen and try to understand, to be yourself and not be judged in such a way so that it would hurt. We are all unique in our own way, and… that was what makes us special._

_When I first came here I was so happy! After the death of Kotaroh-kun, I was so… he was trying so hard for me. You're him, but not him, but you will still be the one I love. You're happy now, and I'm happy for you._

_Why is it that you keep having nightmares? I know, but I don't want to know. It scarred you so badly. You lost someone so important to you._

_It is no wonder you still have nightmares now._

_I can hear you, Kotarou-kun, and I know that you are scared of that, but I'm here. I'm always here if you need me. You might not be able to see me, but you know that I will be here to listen to you, to comfort you in a way that no one else can._

_But don't deny you friends the truth, if you need someone to talk back; even I can't do that now._

_It'll be okay. Everything will be fine._

_I'll be here, watching, suu._

000

Good? Bad? Too over the top? Please review, I want to know what everyone else thinks. :D Thanks.


	2. Chapter 1: Kotarou Higuchi

Disclaimers: I don't own it.

Na… the next three chapters are based on Kotarou, Takashi and Koboshi, the same day, but with their own kind of… views. Third person still, but yeah. In case you get confused later, it is the same day.

000

Chapter One: Kotarou Higuchi

It was just another day. Nothing was out of the ordinary and, well, besides the fact that Shino was finally becoming accustomed to how she had to live now, nothing was wrong.

The purple-haired boy yawned slightly, his vision blurred as he tried to shake off the influence of sleep. He'd had enough sleep, and besides, he needed to get ready for school. Already, his cousin could be heard getting ready in the other room. That was, if an eight-year-old could truly get ready on her own; his father was already gone to work.

Had it already been two years? It seemed like a such a short time since grade six, where he then had to try and pass his exams to get into a good school. How had the time flown by without his noticing? It just seemed so unreal, so absurd, so very mysterious.

It was almost like the whole time had been a dream to him.

Kotarou Higuchi tried to collect his thoughts for a moment before finally staggering out of bed. His eyes fell on the clock next to him and as the fact sank in that he was going to be late, he grabbed his uniform and charged into the bathroom, nearly knocking Shino off her feet in the process.

He was ready for school in a record time of three minutes. Of course, this also meant that when he left for school, he wouldn't have breakfast. One of the few troubles of being the 'man of the house', it would seem. He ignored this little minor fact and dashed back into his room to grab his bookbag.

"Shino, let's go," he called to his cousin, wrenching the door open.

The little girl ran over to him, but not before showing something into his hands, which took him by surprise. Looking down, he noticed that one was a bento box, while the other was a… piece of toast? Unable to help it, he sweat dropped.

"Oniichan needs to eat to!" Shino informed him seriously, "And Shino made that for Oniichan!"

"Er…" do eight-year-olds normally know how to cook? Kotarou couldn't help but doubt that just a bit, but decided against questioning the child for the time being. They were already late, and any more time just standing there would make them even later. "Thanks, Shino. Let's go already."

She nodded, happy, and they left the apartment.

Unable to help it, Kotarou remembered how many times he'd been tackled by his neighbor when she'd lived there for the few months in his last year at primary school. He used to berate her, especially when they were late, but she would just brush it off with her rather childish speech patterns and that insanely happy smile stuck on her face.

Misha.

It really had been a long time since he'd seen her. He could never see her again, but sometimes he had that feeling that she was watching him. It was a warm, safe feeling that he only got around the people he trusted, and she was the first to truly give him this feeling. His friends cared for him, he knew, but it didn't mean they knew what he had been through.

It took a while for the purple-haired boy to notice that he had zoned out again and his cousin was now tugging at his sleeve, reminding him that they were going to be late.

Shaking his head at his lack of focus, they hurried on.

That was mornings for you.

000

"Hey Kotarou! Morning!"

"Morning Kotarou-chan!"

By the gate, Kotarou's two friends, Takashi and Koboshi, waved him over. He waved back before bolting over to get over to them. Having already dropped Shino at her own school, he had a disheveled look in his appearance and didn't look the happiness of people. Takashi frowned at this, his dark emerald eyes showing concern for his friend.

"Woke up on the wrong side of the bed, I suppose?" he asked casually. Koboshi hit him on the shoulder, "Hey, what was that for?"

"Ten-chan! No tact at all!" she scoffed, before turning to the purple-haired boy, who was trying to catch his breath, "Are you okay, Kotarou-chan?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," he reassured them, "Just woke up a bit late this morning. And I'm trying to work out when Shino learnt how to cook."

They walked towards the school with the last-minute stragglers, who were taking their time and seemingly didn't care when the school bell rang. When Kotarou said this, however, Takashi perked up, as if remembering something.

"Oh yeah, guess I forgot to tell you, huh?" he laughed off-hand at this, "My uncle has been teaching your cousin a thing or two about how to cook and stuff. He said you never can be too young to learn how to cook, so yeah. Your dad said it was fine and all."

"…What?" Kotarou stared at him like he was insane.

"Well, you had to learn about that kinda stuff at a young age as well," the blonde said in defense, "And it's only simple things. We've been taking care of her when you were at review and stuff, remember?"

"Ah… oh, it's not like I'm angry about it," the other boy smiled gratefully at him, "Thanks, Ten-chan."

"No prob." Just then, the three friends heard the school bell ring, "Ah! We're going to be late! Come on!"

000

School was like always, where the teachers wanted to cram as much stuff into their brains and how the world worked. Not that it mattered, but since it was part of the school curriculum, there was no way out of it.

Kotarou stared out of the window, unable to help it as he watched the world pass by without them. It was an exceptionally clear day with a few clouds and the odd bird streaking past it. Every now and then a friendly breeze would pass by them and tug at the branches of the trees, coaxing them to sway in a lazy manner. And although it just seemed to be a normal day for most of the students, the purple-haired teen couldn't help but wonder if a certain angel had done this to tell him that she was there.

To tell him that she had heard what he'd said just last night.

He couldn't remember all the details, but the fact was that it was a nightmare that he'd had many times before. His mother's death… and how she had died had not left him completely, but he knew that he was safe, and that she watched him from above as well, with Misha.

But to clear his mind, he needed to talk; so he did. He talked into the peaceful night sky and remembered all the memories he had had with her, with them, and how he now knew that he was no longer alone. Naturally, he never did tell the others about the angels and demons concept, but other than that they all got along fine, and that was what mattered.

He had definitely felt better after that. He felt at peace when he directed the conversation towards her; he knew that should would be out there, listening. And that was all he needed.

With a small sigh, he pulled himself back together and resumed taking notes about something the teacher had said. He had to try and stop thinking like that, or he'd get lost in his own memories again, and get confused with what was real and what was not.

The rest of the day passed uneventfully.

000

"So you'll pick her up from there, then?" asked Takashi, as the day finally finished for them. The three were by the gates once more, and since Kotarou had review, he had asked them to pick up Shino for him. "I've got work today, and she's a nice kid, so uncle will be glad to have her around."

"I'll hang around, if that's okay," offered Koboshi, "I know how boring your work gets sometimes."

"Right, Uematsu, whatever you say."

Unable to help it, Kotarou grinned as the two glared playfully at one another, and then caught sight of the time. Thanking them again, he left the two to bicker and argue and… well, whatever friends did. Either way, he knew that his little cousin was in good hands.

But that didn't mean that he could shake away the small, nagging feeling that had developed since the start of the day.

What was it?

Foreboding?

Loss?

Pain?

Nothing?

He wasn't sure anymore.

000

Review was boring. It always was, but it was essential. And it was also the time that he wished he was as smart as Takashi. He knew how hard the blonde had worked to get into the school, but still…

As they trickled out of the classroom, Kotarou was one of the last students and it was already getting dark. Hitching his school bag over his shoulder, he made his way to Café Tricot.

Poor Shino, he had to think, to be caught up in such a messed up procedure of life. He had school and review, his father was never there, and she didn't even have Misha or Shia to watch over her during this time. It was so hard… but he knew she had friends, so maybe he should stop worrying so much.

The nagging feeling hit him like a tonne of bricks and a blinding light filled his vision. Blindly, all he could hear was the blearing sound of something loud and low-pitched. Something that seemed very familiar.

Before it happened, his heart clenched painfully.

The world became black.

000

… (Stares at it) Oooooh dear…

Miharu Shimizu: Heh, thanks. I usually don't do sap stories, but PitaTen seems to be more focused on angst and the like, so yeah. I'm planning a more fanatical/action/adventure one later though… Thanks again :)

j6girl: Yeah, it was short. I'll try to make it longer later… but who knows…

Infinitis: Thanks!


	3. Chapter 2: Takashi Ayanokoji

Disclaimers: I don't own it.

And now it's Takashi's turn. I have no idea what happened to him in the eighth volume… so yeah. Okay… (I can't believe I still don't have it!)

000

Chapter Two: Takashi Ayanokoji

The insistent sound of the alarm was what woke up the blonde, who hit the 'sleep' button and then sat up, stretching. He really had to get to school, otherwise he was going to be there for a long, long time…

Getting out of bed was easier said than done, though, and he dragged himself out of there, yawning and rubbing his eyes as he tried to get himself to think straight. He had to get to school and then… well, the day would probably be like any other and he would most likely argue with Uematsu before the day was completely through.

Really, he had a lot to look up to. Maybe he should join one of those after-school clubs, but then that would get in the way of his part-time job at his uncle's café. Not that the job was unpleasant, but it could become a drag if he wasn't careful.

Takashi buttoned up his uniform and swept a bang out of the way. Well, at least he was with his friends still, and they were all getting along just fine. Sure, he had been freaked out by the little incident involving Uematsu and Kotarou… but that was in the past, and he wasn't putting too much thought in it.

How long had it been?

He thought for a moment. Hn, two years. What a long time.

After managing to get into one of the most elite schools around the area, the work hadn't seem that much harder to him: he had the brains, he knew, and that was what made everyone else jealous. It was kind of annoying as well, he had to admit, since they could just try and study harder. Besides, he didn't care too much about marks, as long as he had some good friends to mess around with and where he could be himself.

He shook his head; there was no time to think about his own, minor problems. He really had to get to school.

Upon entering the kitchen, he was greeted by his mother, who looked tired but happy. Just late last year, Takashi's father seemed to be reaching the brink of recovery, unlike the last few years, where there had been no change in his condition. There was hope now, and that was all that mattered.

"You have work tonight, don't you, Takashi?" his mother asked him.

"Yeah," he nodded, "So I won't be home 'til late."

"Just be careful, now."

"I will." The blonde reached for his backpack and slung it over his shoulder. Bidding goodbye to his mother, he left the house and made the steady loop towards the school.

It was a beautifully clear day, with the odd cloud here and there, and birds were soaring to their leisure. So… peaceful… really. Strange, how it could be like that, right after a storm the night before.

"Ten-chan!"

Recognizing the voice, Takashi stopped and turned, watching as the short blonde-haired girl ran to catch up to him. He grinned, "What's up, Uematsu?"

"I was up all night trying to finish the English homework!" the girl replied, gnawing her lip and looking highly agitated. "It was just so confusing! I can't believe they're making us do that!"

His grin widened at this, "Was it too hard for you?"

Koboshi perked at this, as if just noticing what she had told him; he, who was class genius and a total dork, "Well EXCU-SE me, dork! You asked me what was up and I told you!" She pouted at him.

Shaking his head, Takashi couldn't help but ruffle her hair, although not too much due to the sort of hairstyle she had. "Geez, Uematsu, lighten up already. I'm not gonna bite."

Pout still firmly in place, she glowered at him, "That's what you say, Ten-chan."

He laughed a bit at this and her pout – and glower – lessened and they made their way to school together, not really saying too much. It was either too awkward or they were lost in their own thoughts; no one really knew.

By the time they had reached the gates, they were face-to-face with a dark-haired boy who wore glasses that were definitely too big for his face. "Damn you, Ayanokoji! Trying to get to school earlier than me, huh!"

"Morning, Poops!" was all the blonde said as a reply. Koboshi smiled as the obvious reaction came up without hesitation.

"You vile scrounge! How dare you call me th-th-that! The heir to the Mitarai house will not permit it!"

"Dude, it just did."

"You-you-you---"

"Morning, Dai-chan," Koboshi said, before Hiroshi was knocked out of the way by his younger sister, who smiled winningly up at Takashi.

"Good morning, Ayanokoji-sama!"

"Hey, babe. How's it going?"

Kaoru seemed to see stars and she swooned just slightly. It was the same reaction all the time, but still oddly hilarious. He didn't really care for her in that way anyway, but still…

"Kotarou-chan isn't here," Koboshi muttered off-hand, looking around.

"Really? He isn't?" this took Takashi by surprise; sure, Kotarou lived with his cousin, who was only eight, and all, but he was usually earlier than this. Maybe he woke up late? "Guess we'll just wait for him." This, of course, was a clear indication for the other two to leave, which they did.

"It's a beautiful day, isn't it?" the blonde-haired girl commented, looking up at the sky.

"Yeah, definitely." He agreed. They stood in silence, enjoying each other's company as they waited for Kotarou to arrive. A number of people called their hellos as they passed by their gate, but they weren't that important. As the clocked ticked closer and closer to class starting, Koboshi began to shift nervously; obviously worried. But she needn't worry, seeing as he had just caught sight of the very person they'd been waiting for.

"Hey, Kotarou! Morning!"

The blonde-haired girl beamed, "Morning Kotarou-chan!"

They received a brief wave in reply and the purple-haired boy ran over to join them, panting and most likely nursing a stitch. He didn't look particularly well-groomed and had the look of someone who hadn't had sleep for a long time, and Takashi frowned just slightly.

"Woke up on the wrong side of the bed, I suppose?" was all he could say, despite how worried he was for his friend's well-being. Koboshi hit him on the shoulder and he yelped, "Hey, what was that for?"

She scoffed loftily at him, "Ten-chan! No tact at all!" Before turning to face Kotarou, ignoring the scowl he gave her. "Are you okay, Kotarou-chan?"

He smiled at his two friend, pushing a purple bang out of the way, "Yeah, I'm fine. Just woke up a bit late this morning. And I'm trying to work out when Shino learnt how to cook." He frowned lightly at this, puzzled more than anything else, it seemed. Takashi blinked. Didn't he know? Er…

They made their way towards the school, passing by a number of people who were just loitering around and not caring what time it really was. Then it hit the blonde as to why Kotarou was so confused.

"Oh yeah, guess I forgot to tell you, huh?" and this had been going on for a few months now… "My uncle has been teaching your cousin a thing or two about how to cook and stuff. He said you never can be too young to learn how to cook, so yeah. Your dad said it was fine and all."

Kotarou gave him a look that screamed 'are you insane!', "… What?"

For a moment Takashi thought he was going to be told off for teaching an eight-year-old surviving skills, "Well, you had to learn about that kinda stuff at a young age as well. And it's only simple things. We've been taking care of her when you were at review and stuff, remember?" And it wasn't like it was hurting anyone, right? Unless you counted Kotarou's pride…

"Ah… oh, it's not like I'm angry about it," the other boy smiled gratefully at him, diminishing all doubt from his mind, "Thanks, Ten-chan."

"No prob." He grinned back at this. Just then, they heard the school bell ring, "Ah! We're going to be late! Come on!"

000

Jotting down the odd note or two, Takashi stifled a yawn as he tried to keep focused. But it was such a nice day outside, so you couldn't help but want to stare out there rather than at some old guy trying to remember how one thing was connected to another.

It looked like Kotarou was out of the world too, the blonde thought, glancing over to where his friend sat. What was on they guy's mind, anyway? He wondered. He was just so out of it today. It was highly entertaining in its own way, but still a worry at the same time.

Running a hand through his hair, Takashi returned to schoolwork. It was so boring sometimes, though…

He yawned.

000

The sun was already beginning to set as the three friends made their way to the school gate, where they would then have to part ways. But they had more thoughtful things in mind and Takashi turned to face Kotarou.

"So you'll pick her up from there, then?" he asked, referring to keeping Shino at Café Tricot, where she could be kept watched by both himself and his uncle. "I've got work today, and she's a nice kid, so uncle will be glad to have her around."

"I'll hang around, if that's okay," offered Koboshi, and he smiled gratefully at her. "I know how boring your work gets sometimes."

"Right, Uematsu, whatever you say." Takashi rolled his eyes.

Koboshi glared at him and he glared right back, making the purple-haired bystander grin. He pulled the sleeve of his uniform and gasped when he noticed the time. Thanking the two briefly, he waved to them both and left off to review.

Once he was out of sight, the other two made their way to where Shino's school was, and then it was to Café Tricot.

"So spill it, Uematsu."

"What?"

"You need to catch up on homework again."

"Wha—I do not!"

"Well, why else would you spend time at the café?"

"Shut up, Ten-chan!"

Takashi laughed.

000

The customers filtered in and out of the café, keeping the blonde busy for the odd hour or so, but once the busy hours of the working day came to a close – which was quite soon, considering that he had been at school during the peak hours – and he sat outside, not really thinking about much.

Koboshi was inside with Shino, talking and laughing as such, while Takashi's uncle cleaned up inside, which really did leave the boy to watch as the sky turned pitch black and it began to show the signs of the stars coming out. The moon was pretty much non-existent, but it didn't seem to matter.

Life was so peaceful now, he mused. So… quiet. And it was a bit lonely as well, now that he thought about it.

Even now, he wondered what had happened to Shia. She hadn't been around for a long time, but he had had a crush on her. Sure, he was over it now, but she was the first person to reassure him that everything would be okay.

He wondered how she was now.

There wasn't much time to brood on this, though, as Koboshi burst out, face incredibly pale. She nearly ran into him, but he stopped her halfway.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"Ten-chan! It's Kotarou-chan!" gasped the blonde-haired girl, tears forming in her eyes at that very moment, "He-he…"

000

… Yup.

Miharu Shimizu: Eheh… thanks! I don't know how long I can handle this kinda setting… but I'll do my best. She definitely did a good job in it, I was so sad after that… never saw the anime, but it was like all happy-happy wasn't it?

Kidai: Thanks!


	4. Chapter 3: Koboshi Uematsu

Disclaimers: I don't own it.

Koboshi-chaaaan! Yup, her turn and then… well, we'll see. We'll see…

000

Chapter Three: Koboshi Uematsu

"Koboshi! Time to wake up!" called her mother.

The blonde-haired girl sighed, dragged out of the peaceful abyss of sleep and she slowly opened one eye, surveying the scenery before her. Being as it was her room, there were an assortment of random stuffed toys and books here and there, but was usually kept in a sort of order that made it easy for her to locate her things. It had a cheery air to it, and a sort of… lightness, that constantly kept her at peace, and that was the way she liked it.

With another sigh, she pushed herself up and rubbed her eyes lightly to dispel the last dregs of sleep. For a moment she just sat there, staring into nothingness and trying to collect her thoughts before getting out of bed.

Once she was sure that she was sufficiently awake, she got out of bed and made her way to the dresser, picking up a brush. Her hair was not in as bad a state that she thought it would be in, but that made the task much more easier. Dragging the rough bristles through her hair, her eyes fell on a headband that had cat ears connected to them.

She couldn't help but smile at the memories. At the times when she used to wear them all the time, just two years ago. With her friends, with one particular blonde-haired guy who made fun of her height, and the other being the hard worker he'd always been.

And, just somehow, they'd all managed to get into the same high school.

"Koboshi!" her mother called again. Smoothing a stray hair back into place, Koboshi tossed the brush onto the dresser and trotted over to her wardrobe, located her uniform, and changed into it. Then she left for the bathroom, grabbed her school bag, and then made her way downstairs.

"I'm here," she said, smiling at her parents, both who were seated at the table. Her mother could only shake her head and smile in return, while her father was too engrossed with the morning newspaper to really say anything.

Once breakfast was over – sooner than one would have expected – the young girl called her goodbyes and left for school. Smoothing her skirt out just slightly, she closed the front gate and left, walking at a steady pace. It wasn't like she was going to be late for school, anyway; she'd been walking in the very same direction since she'd started school, so there was nothing too it.

It was a clear day, promising a – hopefully – good day for them and Koboshi couldn't wipe the smile on her face. She just felt so peaceful and happy for some reason. Not like she needed a reason to be happy all the time; just being with her friends was enough. But today just had that… extra ring to it, if she could describe it, just that little extra… sparkle in the normal processes that life dragged them through.

And for some reason, this reminded her of a certain, older girl, with long pink hair and bunny hairclips that were always just there. The very same older girl who had been Kotarou's next door neighbor and an annoyance in a package who constantly glomped onto her friend.

But now that she thought about it, where had Misha gone?

Koboshi frowned at this; she couldn't place the time, but it must have been sometime around now…

She didn't have much time to dwell on this, though, seeing as she had just caught sight of one of her friends walking down the very same road, just a bit ahead of her. Smiling again, she raised her voice; "Ten-chan!"

Said blonde boy stopped walking at this and turned smartly, one hand gripping onto the strap of his bag. Without much thought, she ran to catch up to him, and when she was right in front of him, Takashi grinned, "What's up, Uematsu?" It was his way of greeting someone, so she was used to it. Anything more polite and she would have thought the sky was falling.

Unable to help it, Koboshi cringed just slightly, "I was up all night trying to finish the English homework!" She complained. "It was just so confusing! I can't believe they're making us do that!" Of course, being in an elite school would do these sorts of thing, but it didn't mean that she couldn't complain if she didn't want to.

Of course, she was complaining to the wrong guy.

Takashi's grin widened at this, like it was some kind of joke, "Was it too hard for you?" He wasn't taunting her in a mean way, but the teasing tone that rang in his voice irritated her just enough to get her… well, angry.

She cringed at her mistake; never talk about homework-related problems with a guy who gets top marks all the time. So, of course, she would just have to find a way to defend her case, which meant that it was time to tell him off, "Well EXCU-SE me, dork! You asked me what was up and I told you!" She pouted to give it extra effect.

The blonde boy shook his head at this and then ruffled her hair lightly, obviously well aware at this point that she really hated it out of place. Then he spoke up, "Geez, Uematsu, lighten up already. I'm not gonna bite."

Not allowing that to phase her, Koboshi remained pouting and then glared at him, "That's what you say, Ten-chan." She wasn't going to let him off that easily, that's for sure.

He laughed good naturedly at this and, unable to stop herself, the girl smiled as well, pretty much settling the score between them. Once that was over and done with, they walked to school together in silence, allowing the quiet and their thoughts to run.

Reaching the gates, they were encountered by none other than Hiroshi Mitarai, who had been transferred into the same school so that he could find and encounter the very same person who bested him constantly. As usual, he wore glasses that made him look like a real dork, "Damn you, Ayanokoji! Trying to get to school earlier than me, huh!"

This was just an everyday ritual.

Takashi smiled, "Morning, Poops!" Koboshi smiled at this, as it was the nickname her friend had chosen the boy. As she expected, Hiroshi reacted like a bomb.

"You vile scrounge! How dare you call me th-th-that! The heir to the Mitarai house will not permit it!"

"Dude, it just did."

"You-you-you---" spluttered the other boy indignantly, unable to string two words together.

Seeing as they were going to get nowhere at the rate they were going, Koboshi stepped in, "Morning, Dai-chan." But he never did return the greeting, because said boy ended up being knocked out of the way by his younger sister, Kaoru, who smiled winningly at Takashi, obviously trying to impress him with her… charm?

"Good morning, Ayanokoji-sama!"

"Hey, babe. How's it going?"

Koboshi watched with slight amusement as the girl swooned at this. It was amazing how popular Takashi really was, yet only had a few close friends. He never really showed that much interest in them, so yeah.

Then she looked around, and noticed that a certain someone wasn't around.

"Kotarou-chan isn't here," she muttered casually, although she was definitely worried.

"Really? He isn't?" Takashi looked surprised at this, obviously wondering why the other boy would be late. Koboshi was more worried that something might have happened to their friend and wasn't paying any attention to him anymore, until he said decisively, "Guess we'll just have to wait for him." It had that decisive ring to his tone and the other two people present left. Koboshi smiled slightly at this, glad that she wouldn't have to hear Hiroshi complaining about one thing or another, but Takashi seemed too preoccupied to notice any of this. Not that she cared. Instead, she focused her attention on the sky above.

"It's a beautiful day, isn't it?" she commented lightly, feeling the need of a light and steady conversation.

"Yeah, definitely," agreed the blonde-haired boy. The conversation hadn't lasted long, so they both fell silent. Koboshi felt quite happy and comfortable just standing there, although her worry for Kotarou was getting in the way most of the current time. What happened if he'd… no, no way!

At that very moment, said boy came into the picture and Koboshi was so relieved that… well, she was as cheerful as ever.

"Hey, Kotarou! Morning!" called Takashi.

"Morning Kotarou-chan!" added the blonde, beaming.

Kotarou waved in recognition and ran over to them. When he reached them, he was panting beyond belief and had one hand to his side. He had a tired look in his eyes and his hair was somewhat disheveled and Koboshi inclined her head in time to see Takashi frown.

"Woke up on the wrong side of the bed, I suppose?" he ended up saying. Koboshi hit him hard on the shoulder and he yelped in pain, "Hey, what was that for?"

Could he be anymore dense? Koboshi just couldn't understand how he could be so smart, yet so dumb, "Ten-chan! No tact at all!" she said in reprimandation. Ignoring the scowl he shot at her, the blonde turned to her other friend, "Are you okay, Kotarou-chan?"

Kotarou seemed grateful at this and pushed a stray hair out of the way before replying, "Yeah, I'm fine. Just woke up a bit late this morning. And I'm trying to work out when Shino learnt how to cook." At this, he frowned, clearly confused as he said he was, and she could only blink.

Walking past a number of loitering students, there was a good deal of silence, until Takashi suddenly seemed to hit something on the head and he couldn't help but exclaim and surprise the people around him.

"Oh yeah, guess I forgot to tell you, huh?" Koboshi looked as confuse as Kotarou probably felt. "My uncle has been teaching your cousin a thing or two about how to cook and stuff. He said you never can be too young to learn how to cook, so yeah. Your dad said it was fine and all." Oh… so that was why.

The blonde girl smiled as she watched Kotarou give the other boy a look that screamed 'are you insane!', "… What?"

Takashi looked scandalized at the reaction, "Well, you had to learn about that kinda stuff at a young age as well. And it's only simple things. We've been taking care of her when you were at review and stuff, remember?" Koboshi silently agreed with this. Poor Kotarou had been though so much already, and taking care of an eight-year-old would also put some strain on him.

"Ah… oh, it's not like I'm angry about it," the other boy smiled gratefully at him, "Thanks, Ten-chan."

"No prob." He grinned back at this. Well, at least that was over and done with, thought the girl. Just then, they heard the school bell ring, "Ah! We're going to be late! Come on!"

Without another thought, the three charged into the school.

000

The only word that could describe Koboshi's current predicament was… WHAT THE? That was the biggest problem lately; work was getting harder and harder and the syllabus was leaving them far, far behind. It was just too much to cram into one brain at one time and she felt really confused and agitated, and annoyed, and tired, and…

She yawned.

Both Takashi and Kotarou looked pretty out of it too, she had to admit, seeing as she was at the back of the class and could see them quite clearly. Sometimes she had to wonder what was on the boy's minds.

It was a thought that could make one dizzy.

Dispelling such a painful and confusing topic, the blonde turned back to the other confusing topic, and went from there.

It was going to be a long day…

000

A soft pink to orange glow could be seen on the horizon, making it incredibly… peaceful could be the only word that could explain it, really. School had been a drag, and now they had to go home and try and complete all the work that they'd been given. It was going to be hell.

But first, it was clear that Takashi had to confirm something from Kotarou.

"So you'll pick her up from there, then?" he asked, referring to keeping Shino at Café Tricot, where she could be kept watched until after review, which Kotarou still went to. "I've got work today, and she's a nice kid, so uncle will be glad to have her around."

"I'll hang around, if that's okay," offered Koboshi. Not only that, but maybe she could get some help from him; the work was just so confusing now! He smiled gratefully in her direction and she added, "I know how boring your work gets sometimes."

"Right, Uematsu, whatever you say." Takashi rolled his eyes at this and she bristled. What was wrong with this guy! He was always, always, always looking for a way to aggravate her! And it always worked as well!

Koboshi glared at him and he glared right back, making the purple-haired bystander grin. She failed to notice this and continued the glaring contest, even if it wasn't a serious case. Kotarou pulled the sleeve of his uniform and gasped when he noticed the time. Thanking the two briefly, he waved to them both and left off to review.

Once he was out of sight, the other two made their way to where Shino's school was, and then it was to Café Tricot.

"So spill it, Uematsu." Takashi said suddenly.

"What?" Koboshi had no idea what was going on and could only blink, refusing to look at him in the eye.

"You need to catch up on homework again."

"Wha—I do not!" Damn! He'd hit it right on the head! Sure, she needed help, but why did he need to make her feel like she was so stupid!

"Well, why else would you spend time at the café?"

"Shut up, Ten-chan!"

Takashi laughed.

Koboshi glowered at him, but it went unnoticed.

000

Watching as the last customers filed out for the day, Koboshi turned back to the book opened up in front of her and stared at the notes she'd made in class. Not that any made any sense to her, but… yeah. Ugh, she was going to be so confused in the end…

Takashi had been busy since the beginning to his work shift, so she only managed to get the odd tip off him now and again, but his snide comments flew into the picture, which involved her jabbing him in the stomach when she could.

But now that was over, the blonde boy was outside, and she was left with Kotarou's cousin, who was sitting on the chair opposite to her.

"Oneechan," began Shino, "What's all the work for?"

"It's something that older people have to do," explained Koboshi patiently, "And you have to do it too when you're older."

"Is it hard?"

"Only if you don't work."

"Ah…" Shino frowned at this and it was just so adorable that Koboshi had to laugh. The little girl smiled too, and then trotted off to talk with Takashi's uncle for one reason or another.

Sighing, she worked on a couple of questions and then gnawed on her pen as she got stuck on one of the more difficult problems. She was considering going outside to ask Takashi, but the phone suddenly rang and, seeing that no one else was going to answer it, she picked it up.

"Café Tricot, how may I help you?" she asked.

The voice on the other end was distressed. Male as well, but she couldn't place it.

"Ayanokoji-san?"

"Eh? This is Uematsu." She was about to say more, but the voice cut past her.

"You're Kotarou's friend, right?" the voice seemed relieved.

"Yes?" the tone of voice scared her, but the message after that scared her even more.

"It's about my son--" again, the choked up feel, "He just--"

000

Not really knowing what she was doing, of where she was going, Koboshi burst out of the café, only to run into Takashi, who was taken completely by surprise.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"Ten-chan! It's Kotarou-chan!" she gasped, feeling the tears forming in her eyes, "He-he…" she felt so choked up, so much emotions threatened to take over her and she couldn't stop herself. "Kotarou-chan was caught in a car crash! We have to go to the hospital!"

000

Do we feel sorry for him? Do we? Yeah, I guess so. XO I can't believe I did that to him…

Miharu Shimizu: Yeah, very evil. Don't know why I did it… it just happened. And we found out exactly what happened… I mean, he did have nightmares of it…


	5. Chapter 4: Nothingness

Disclaimers: I don't own it.

I have no idea what this really is, but it's pretty much Kotarou in… some lingering between life and death. And Misha from Haven. What will happen now?

000

Chapter Four: Nothingness

**Are you ever truly alone? Do you really believe that we walk on this earth with no one by your side?**

_**Is that what you really think?**_

_**Is that all you can say?**_

_**Why is it? Why did it have to be this way? It doesn't seem to make any sense.**_

_**Do you know what I'm trying to say? Do you understand the meaning behind it all?**_

… _**You want to be alone? Is that what you want to say?**_

_**Why is it?**_

_**Why is it so hard to understand?**_

Darkness. That was all that could be seen. Nothing in front of him. Nothing behind him… just… an emptiness in it all. Like everything was still and not there; like no one else was there to bring a sense of presence.

It was a hollow feeling.

Alone.

No one else was there.

Kotarou took a sharp intake of breath, trying to calm himself down as he tried to make sense on what had happened. Where was he now? What had happened? Why couldn't he remember at all!

A blinding light, a sound that was loud enough to make you deaf… it was a sound that he dreaded so much… one of the few fears that send him toppling off the edge of sanity.

He could almost feel his mind go numb as he realised what had happened.

But was it for real? Was he truly dead and gone? Out of existence? Away from his friends and family?

And what about Misha? Did she know? Could she have even prevented it? Why was it that now he was in a void that led to nowhere, was nothing, and didn't seem to be of any sort of true existence? He felt horrible, almost like he really wanted to go to the bathroom because of the threatening nausea that was building up within him. It couldn't be true… how could it be true? It was just a nightmare to him; there was no way it could happen in real life.

…Right?

The purple-haired teen groaned in pain – or lack thereof, to be precise – and he clutched his head. But if this was the reality… then how come he could move? Could he feel pain? Remorse? The fact that if he truly were dead then there should have been a path open to him? He didn't know anymore and he was so scared.

Memories of friends and family was all that was left for him. He didn't even know if he was alive anymore.

"Okaasan… otousan…"

… Why had it happened in the first place?

…

'Misha-san…'

000

A place full of serenity and happiness; joys and peace. It was like no other, with the colours contrasting against the few darker shades of hair and eyes, but other than that, there was nothing more than a sense of calamity.

_And yet, there was one angel who was not enjoying the scenery._

_Curled up and a good distance away from the other angles, Misha watched the mortal plane below, unable to shake off the feeling of uneasiness that she felt for a few days prior. It was never like this before, and she couldn't place the feeling, nor understand the meaning behind it. All she knew was that she was worried, and that the worry was focused on one person._

_Kotarou Higuchi._

_She knew that he missed her, but it was something much stronger than that. There was an unseen darkness, an unseen evil, but then again… could she really know what it was? Even as an angel, there were many things that she could still question, and being what she was, and hanging around in the mortal plane for some time could also muddle up her judgement._

_She needed to see him. The back of her mind was practically screaming it out to her, but would she be allowed to go? Permission was one thing that took a lot longer than it should have, and that was the one thing that might have tried her patience more than once._

_What could have happened to Kotarou?_

_No one noticed how distant she had become from the others, but then again, it wasn't like they were burdened with the link between a single mortal and cared about them that deeply. Misha was like that and she couldn't change it, no matter what._

_The feeling wouldn't leave her alone either. And no one was paying her any attention. She was an accepted angel now, so she was expected to live up to the name she was given and what she truly was._

_Getting up and brushing back a strand of pink hair, the angel looked down at the surface world again, and then came to a firm resolution: it didn't matter if she got told off afterwards, and it wasn't like she was doing anything remotely wrong either. She had to check in on Kotarou._

_And no one was going to stop her from doing that._

_Spreading her wings, Misha prayed with all her heart that the boy was okay; she cared about him deeply and it just couldn't be if he was hurt in any way. Sure, getting heartbroken and falling into arguments hurt the boy as well, but it was part of mortal life, and that was fine. But if it was something more… something that could truly scar him and the people around him…_

_It was like what had happened to his mother. He had loved her and she was taken away from him._

_Why was fate so cruel? Why did life just take away the people others cared about the most? Why was it always this way? As an angel, maybe it wasn't in her place to question the decision of karma, but she couldn't help it. The people who were hurt… she knew their pain like it was her own, and it hurt so badly._

'_Please let Kotarou-kun be alright…'_

_Please…_

000

There was no one here. Nothing. Empty.

He was alone.

Complete and utterly alone. No one was there for him, to talk to him, to be there for him. No one.

And that scared Kotarou more than anything else.

Despite the way he acted at times, he appreciated having his friends around him, and even when Misha was an annoyance of sorts, she was still there. Shia, too, gave him more comfort from being there than not, and even if she was gone as well, he just hoped that she was there watching him as well.

But now there was a void. A nothingness that should not have been there but was.

It scared him.

Why was it? Where was he? He didn't even know where he truly was? Why? Why did it happen?

Was he being careless? Was the driver not looking where they were going? Was he well and truly dead; and if so, what kind of plane was this? Nothing like heaven or hell, so then…

Was he stuck in between? Was that it?

Not knowing was what going on, Kotarou gave a small, choked up sob.

Why wasn't anyone coming for him?

**Was it meant to be this way? Were you meant to be born to get hurt? Or is the fear in your heart much more stronger than any other force that was more positive than others?**

_**Did you mean this to happen? Did karma and fate not like you?**_

_**What did you do to deserve this? It isn't supposed to be this way.**_

_**I'm so scared…**_

_**Someone… anyone… please…**_

_**I need you… I don't want to be alone…**_

000

Misha had witnessed the accident, yet was unable to do anything about it. And even if she had known ahead of time, would she have been able to prevent it? By the time she had arrived, all that could be heard was the crash… and screaming.

As an angel, she was merely instructed to make other people happy, not prevent an accident that could destroy a life. It had been so horrible to watch, but even if she couldn't do anything, she had to find a way to be by Kotarou's side no matter what.

_The crash had been horrible… was he going to die?_

_Tears welled up in her eyes as she tried to keep her composure; he couldn't die. Not after he knew that there were people who cared about him. And they would be worried sick. It just couldn't happen. She never wanted it to happen!_

_The ambulance had been called and they were there a lot faster than what one would have expected. Some passer bys were watching, in a state of shock, while other people seemed to cry at the fate of the poor boy who had been caught in the middle of it._

_Blood. There was so much of it._

_Although she knew that if she stayed any longer, someone from Above would notice her absence, but she couldn't leave Kotarou now. Her heart was much stronger than her sense of duty, and that was what she intended to do; stay by his side, no matter what._

_Floating next to the unconscious boy, she took his hand in hers, and prayed. Prayed that he would make it and that it would all be alright._

_He didn't deserve this fate._

_No one did._

000

Kotarou looked up.

Someone was there.

Who was it?

But whoever it was, he was grateful.

A vague feeling of warmth surrounded him; it was weak, but still there.

And for that he was grateful.

000

_Where was he exactly? Lingering on the path between life and death? Was there any other way to get him out of it? Or was it too late for him now?_

_No. Misha would refuse to believe it, no matter what. He had a life now, a life with friends and family that cared about him terribly. He couldn't just leave now! When he was finally given a chance it was taken way from him! She could not let it happen! It was just too much!_

_So where was he?_

_Deep in the nothingness…_

_**Why was it this way all the time? Why was fate so cruel to us? Couldn't there be a time when everyone was happy? When people could have joys and sorrows with another who would understand?**_

_**When did it change?**_

_**I don't know.**_

But it's so different now… 

_**Don't let him leave now.**_

_**Please…**_

000

Short, I know. But I couldn't think of anything else, really. And there will probably be one or two more chapters after this to clear everything up… and find out Kotarou's fate. So yeah, not long, really.

Kidai: Thanks for the reviews, I really appreciate it and all. His mother died that way, and he was there to witness it, so it's only natural that he'd be scared. It hurts, I know, and it really hurts those who care, huh? I may have never experienced it myself, but still… thanks again.

j6girl: Yeah, Kotarou would have to be some form of being afraid, right? Like the one time he had that nightmare when his mother died… army of angels? Why would they come after me for writing such a sad story…? Anyway, here's an update. Thanks.


	6. Chapter 5: Hospital Wait

Disclaimers: I don't own it.

And so we're at the hospital… waiting… to see what will happen next…

000

Chapter Five: Hospital Wait

It hadn't taken long for Takashi, Koboshi and Shino to find the hospital in which Kotarou was being kept in. The conversation that the blonde-haired girl had had with his father had been brief and terror-stricken; worsened by the fact that he was unable to get out of work, despite the tragedy of it all. Why this was so, it was merely insane for the only adult family member left in Kotarou's life to be unable to get out of his job to keep an eye on his son.

As it was, Takashi's uncle had agreed to take them there, but the files that concerned Kotarou were left sitting on the desk, waiting for one of his family to come in to check on him. A futile wait; seeing as his father was the only one left and he was stuck, and his grandmother was too far away to come at such a time at night, so there was nothing the rest could do.

A kindly-looking nurse with short, brown hair led the distraught children into what was obviously the waiting room, where a number of people – all of them adults, although one or two of them had small children in tow – were sitting around in silence. The hard, plastic chairs and sofas available, as well as the lack of any sort of colours on the walls didn't help what the two already felt and they sank on the seats in dreaded silence.

There was nothing they could do. Kotarou was probably somewhere between life and death; otherwise the nurse might have said something about his condition. At the most, she had told them where it had happened and at what time, when the ambulance had arrived and the fact that he had lost a lot of blood…

Critical condition.

That was what it was, wasn't it? All in one day and his life was at stake. Somewhere not here or there, and they couldn't do a thing; his friends were useless here.

Koboshi couldn't stop the tears from falling down her face at the prospect of losing Kotarou; true, he had never thought of her as more as a friend, but that didn't matter. The fact that they HAD been friends was the most important fact to her, and to just have him disappear off the face of the earth like that was too much for her to bear. She hated these sorts of things; where people got hurt when it could have been avoided. Why had it had to happen to him, of all people?

People close to him got hurt so badly, like any other family. And just that was enough to worry her beyond belief.

No one had said a word when they were being driven to the large, white building which was the hospital. Not a single word was spoken when the nurse had hurried in and instantly asked if they were family of any sort. In truth, she would have turned them away for not being his family, but upon being told that the boy had only one family member who was unable to make it for so many reasons, she took them to the waiting room to do just that; wait.

Takshi's uncle didn't stay around; he had a store, after all. And even if there were few customers around at the time, it was common courtesy to be open for those who wanted to be in there.

And yet nothing had been said between the two friends.

Too worried about Kotarou's condition, what could be said about it? Neither one could try and console the other; to attempt to give comfort. It was just too much. If anything, they were in shock, and who could blame them? It had just happened, on such a normal, school night. No one had expected such a situation to rear its ugly head at them, but it had, and now they were here, waiting, and unable to do a thing about it.

Saying nothing was better then attempting to make conversation, Takashi mused bitterly, in all truth, it was an unbearable case that was better off left alone; and by the looks of Koboshi's face, she was in no condition to talk anyway.

Although the two boys had always been a bit on the rivalry side of friendship, they understood each other quite a bit and it was that sort of trust and warmth between friends that made the situation now to hard to handle.

He was a bit of a moron at time, Kotarou was, but it didn't make him that much more fun to hang around with. But for such a thing to happen hurt the blonde as much as it hurt the crying girl next to him, and if he'd honestly allowed it to happen; he would have broken down long ago.

But no, he had to be strong for Koboshi, at least. Maybe he couldn't say anything to reassure her, but at least they were here for him. Praying for him to be okay, true, and the fact that he may no make it, but it was better than just knowing and being unable to hear his progress.

And the small girl next to him… the cousin of his friend who was now…

Turning to face the small girl, she looked back up with large, innocent yet confused eyes and fumbled with the small backpack that she always carried. The one with small bat's wings, like the ones on Shia's hat.

Shino didn't understand what was going on. Taken into Kotarou's family and care, she was like a younger sister than a cousin, and despite it all, everyone had grown attached to her. And the childish innocence that was still there, even now, was something that no one could break. She didn't need to know that her older 'brother' may die… it was bad enough that she'd lost her parents, like Kotarou himself, but to lose more members of her already depleting family…

The silence was so heavy. And still, no one said a word.

All they could do now was wait.

000

People came and went in the waiting room, pale, limp-looking patients were wheeled in and out of the room, with thankful parents trailing after them after a successful operation and the like.

Yet there was no mention of Kotarou Higuchi.

Did that mean that he had not made it? No, because they would have had to walk in to tell those waiting, right?

Takashi had waited fretfully, true, when it had happened to his own father, but he was going to be okay now, wasn't he? It was Kotarou, his best friend, that was now in mortal peril. He might not make it, he might have been gone hours ago and they just didn't want to break the news.

Taking a good look at Koboshi next to him, he had known that she had stopped crying for a while now, yet had made no attempt to actually face her. It was obvious that she had been crying, red patches on her cheeks and the like, but she also seemed resolute to not cry anymore; if there were any tears left, anyway.

He was the one who was supposed to make her feel better, right? He was supposed to be the one to crack a joke and be carefree, despite all his problems. But he couldn't do that now; it was a stupid and heartless thing to do and even he knew that.

So he said nothing.

There was no attempt to make conversation, as more people filed in and out of the dim, plastic waiting room on hour intervals. Neither one wanted to state the single and most feared truth.

Kotarou was fighting for his life.

Or he was already dead.

No, it was a stupid thing to dread the worse of it when it was yet to happen; or not happen. Hopefully the latter of the two.

Shino seemed to understand the silence as one that would not appreciate noise of any sort and just sat there, leaning against Takashi as she stared at the wall. Something was wrong, quite obviously, and she didn't know what might happen next. Adults and the older children never said anything, but sometimes they would see them crying about one thing or another.

Grieving for a loss that would never be replaced.

It was a horrible feeling, one that was very foreign for the small child, and she said nothing. At the most, she was scared – who wouldn't be? – because Koboshi had run out of the café crying so much. Had it been something she'd done? Something that she shouldn't have?

That was a doubting question; and going to the large building with people wearing white had left that question in the dust. She didn't recognize the place at all, yet the white beds with people lying on them only confirmed the strange sensation of fear, and, although she didn't know it, foreboding.

But she was a child, right? Not even that old to be able to understand anything. She couldn't say anything that would make the older two smile, and, even as a child, she would have said that they would never smile again.

So sad… so depressed…

Misha-nee would have been able to do something if she'd been around. The older, pink haired girl had always been smiling and kind, and used to be a great source of comfort to Shino. But where was onee-chan now?

When she had asked Kotarou, he had told her that she was now up in the sky; always watching over them.

Did that mean she was watching them now?

000

_Panicked cries and commands rent and tore at the air. Bright lights flashed and items and other surgical tools were passed from one gloved hand to another. Doctors and nurses alike were trying to save Kotarou from the fate that seemed almost destined to him._

_The boy's consciousness had been so unstable in the first hit, and during the time he was in the ambulance, that Misha knew. But when she had taken his hand and made her own prayers, it was like he had known she was there for him and had eased up just that bit more. But she was so worried. He had lost so much blood due to the accident._

_Something that the boy had told her long ago floated back to her; his mother, dying due to this, her blood everywhere… and, although it was unsaid, the screams of innocent-passer-bys must have been heard. So far away, yet with no way for them to do anything. Paralysed with what had happened, and being unable to help at all._

_Humans were like that, weren't they? She didn't blame them a bit, but it still hurt. Sometimes people didn't make it because of the lack of action from the people around, but they were scared, weren't they? Shocked beyond belief. It was never meant to happen._

_Misha hadn't left Kotarou's side once during all this; she didn't want to move at all until she knew that he was going to be okay._

"—still in an unstable condition…"

"—pass me the…"

"—blood pressure is decreasing…"

"Is it his heart?"

_So much worry. And he had no one there. What was to happen to him? Would he be okay in the end? She had wanted nothing more than for him to be happy, and he had been, and now…_

_Now it was this._

_Somewhere she could dimly hear the voice of her older sister calling out to her. Probably another task, but Misha didn't care. She wasn't going to leave Kotarou until his condition was stabilized… or he was gone._

_Either way meant that she would be with him, and that was what he needed the most at the moment._

_Somewhere not too far away, it was probably in this very building, she could almost hear the voices of Koboshi, Takashi and Shino. Well, not voices, but their emotions could be heard. Somewhere out there, praying for his safety, wishing for him to be well again._

_They could only wait now…_

_Panicked shouts were what brought the angel out of her muse and she looked up alarm. Nurses and doctors ran around the small, sterilized room, looking grim and worried._

000

How long they were sitting there, waiting, the three children didn't know. But eventually they had all fallen asleep against each other, yet looking pale and worried.

There had been no mention of Kotarou at all.

But what did that mean? Was it too late to save him? Would they have to suffer and see him gone from this world? Did it mean that they would never see him again? It was something that none of them wanted to think about.

They refused to acknowledge it as anything but a fear; but it seemed to be getting more and more realistic with each passing hour.

It was a new moon and the stars gleamed over the small city. Little noise could be heard, there was no other signs of life around to disturb one another as they slept.

It was so hard to take it all in.

It wasn't possible, it wasn't likely…

Right?

The sound of the double doors bursting open was what woke Takashi up and he stared blearily at the blurry shapes before him. People in white to see someone about the patient. But there was no one else but them now…

Fact hit him like a ton of bricks and he woke Koboshi up, who looked like she hadn't slept at all. Pale faced and looking like she didn't want to open her mouth in fear of what she may say, the two teens stared up at the grim face of the doctor.

"Kotarou Higuchi's friends?"

They nodded, fearing the worst.

"I suppose it is best that you know, then…"

000

What has happened? Dead or alive? Er… you can guess that (sorry for the cliffhanger, I suppose, but it seemed more… dramatic that way).

I suppose it wasn't all that realistic, with Kotarou's father not even going to the hospital with his only son is in CRITCAL CONDITION, but I don't think he would have done that much, and I was more focused on Kotarou's friends freaking out, because they're, like, the closest people to him now. And Misha… she's going to stay with him, no matter what.

Miharu Shimizu: Oh… dear… sorry. But I suppose I was a bit teary with that as well. I mean, to be in that state… it's okay to forget, I do it all the time XO but as long as you're reading it, I'm happy. Not much longer till the end, though…

j6girl: He's trapped in between, I suppose you can say. Since he is still clinging onto some form of consciousness, he's not really going either way. Kind of like a spirit in the darkness…

dark dreamerx: I love Pita-ten so much as well XD It's just so amazing… And we'll see what happens, won't we? Thanks for the review!


	7. Chapter 6: Two Different Paths

Disclaimers: I don't own it.

… See for yourself…

000

Chapter Six: Two Different Paths

One would think, after all this, that more wasn't possible. That nothing more could be said and all they could do now was wait and hope that everything was going to be okay. But what were the chances with that? How were they supposed to deal with such a case?

It was just too much to take. It couldn't happen. It wasn't possible; it just wasn't. They didn't want to know.

Did they?

000

_Kotarou looked up. For all this time, he had been unable to see a thing at all. Yet now, now… he could see everything before him. Did that mean he was okay? Or was it too late now?_

_But supposing that he COULD see his body down below, with people in white uniforms rushing along, it was either a really bad dream; or his nightmare had finally come to life. And that wasn't exactly a good thing._

"_Kotarou-kun…"_

_A voice he hadn't heard for so long. And he had never expected to hear it now. Floating in between two worlds, he knew that much, and turning, he saw Misha. He stared, unable to help it. How long had it been since they had talked? It was so long and he missed her so much, and yet…_

_The pink-haired angel seemed sad. Even the bunny hair-clips didn't look particularly happy as she gazed into his eyes._

"_Misha-san…?" He looked down at his body and stared at himself blankly, unable to work out what was going on. But to be able to meet the angel… and see himself… surrounded by doctors and nurses… "What happened? I-I-I-I mean… what's going on!" He panicked, not really wanting to know the answer, but if he didn't get it now, when was he going to get it?_

_Misha took his hand, forcing him to look back at her; "Kotarou-kun… you were in a car accident…"_

"… _Wha-wha-what!" This was worse than what he could have imagined. The noise had been horrible… the blinding light… the fact that this was the exact same way his own mother had died. The one person he loved because she was able to comfort him when he was scared… when he could still see creatures from the other worlds… he was dead?_

"_I'm dead!"_

_Something about that seemed so… ridiculous. Of course, he did the first thing that came to his mind: he laughed._

_It was the least funny thing that he could be told at the moment, but it just seemed to come out on its on. He didn't find anything hilarious with the situation, but what was he to do._

_He was hysterical, wasn't he? He could tell, and that was besides the fact that he was crying as well as laughing. It was just too much. Why did it happen? What would happen now? And why? Why!_

"_Misha-san, why!" he sobbed, the laughter lost in between choking and gasping, "Why did this happen? Why did it have to happen now? When I was happy with my life. When I was happy not only for you and Shia-san and my mother but for myself as well!"_

_Pulling the distressed boy into her arms, Misha stroked his hair slowly, waiting for him to calm down. It was hard, of course it was, but she was a full-fledged angel now, wasn't she? That could help now. And she knew that it was the only way to make him happy. Sure, she was glad they had met, but this was the worst possible situation to find them in._

_It was insane, it was stupid, it shouldn't happen to children who still had many years left in their lives. That was what hurt about losing Kotaroh-kun the first time; he had so much in his future, but because of the villagers and others who could not accept him for who he was… it was so ridiculous. And his reincarnation was not going to die that way… if she could help it._

"_Kotarou-kun… it'll be okay…" she hushed him, trying to remain calm as she ran a couple of thoughts through her head, trying to find something that might both work and help him._

_But Kotarou wasn't listening to her, "Misha-san… will I be able to stay with you now? And with Shia-san and mama…?" He held onto the angel tighter, not wanting to let go. "Please tell me this isn't true--!"_

"_Please, listen to me," she pushed him away just enough so that he would meet her eye, "You just have to remain calm. Please calm down, su."_

_Sniffling, the purple-haired boy blinked, waiting for her to continue._

"_I'm an angel," Misha explained simply, smiling just a little bit for reassurance, "and I know that I couldn't change what happened, but I can still help you, su. I can help you get back."_

"_R-really?" he stared at her in disbelief. Was what she said was true?_

_She nodded, "See before you?" She gestured to the planes before them where two different shimmering pathways gleamed at them, "There are two ways you can go now, Kotarou-kun. One will take you to Heaven, but the other will allow you to go back. It's your choice, su."_

_Kotarou took a long look at the two pathways. So, he had a choice. One would take him back to life as he knew it, and with a lot of pain, but the other… if he really wanted to, he could go back with Misha… and his mother…_

_It had been so long since he'd seen her… it would be a blessing just to be with her again… just for a little longer… but that would mean leaving the others… his friends… his father… and Shino, who probably didn't know what was going on._

_A dilemma that he hadn't even thought possible waged war upon one another in his mind as he struggled to work out what he truly wanted. What did he want? And when he made the choice, it would stick with him forever._

_As if noticing Kotarou's internal struggle, Misha smiled again and added softly, "Kotarou-kun, you're still very young and have a long life ahead of you. You know that I'll always watch over you, and one day you'll come into Heaven, so… don't let your friends down, su."_

_He looked up and met her smile, "Misha-san…"_

_She hugged him tightly, "Do what is right, Kotarou-kun. But if you want to come, then I can't change anything, su."_

_Hugging back, Kotarou knew where he had to go and slowly, painfully, let go of Misha, who watched him. Two pathways: one up, the other down. Back to earth or up into Heaven, where he would no longer feel pain._

_But then it would hurt his friends. He couldn't live with that and he knew it. So there was only one choice he had, and he knew that it was the right one. Taking a deep breath, he tread towards the path that led back to his body; to the nurses and doctors that were panicking so badly._

_He couldn't see Misha anymore, but he knew she was still there; watching him, giving her silent support like she had so many years back. It was painful to see her again, only to leave once more, but she was always there, and he knew that one day he would see her again._

_And that was enough. To keep looking forward to the future; and to know that the angel he loved would always be watching him every step of the way._

_Up above, Misha nodded to herself, "Kotarou-kun… you made the right choice."_

000

"Kotarou Higuchi has reached a stable condition and is now resting," the doctor finished, offering a small, reassuring smile. "He'll be okay now."

Tears formed in the corner of Koboshi's eyes as the news hit her; he was okay now. He wasn't going to die… he was alright.

"Thank you," she said in a slightly choked voice to no one in particular, "Oh, thank you so much…"

Hugging the shaking girl, Takashi felt relief wash over him. It was all going to be alright from hereon in, and he had never felt so happy in his whole entire life. Sure, Kotarou could be a jerk and distant at times, but he was still a great guy to hang around, and just hearing that he was going to be fine now was enough to have HIM crying. But he wasn't, so there was no point looking forward to that happening.

Oh yeah, he was going to give Kotarou a piece of his mind when they were able to visit.

000

"Kotarou-chan!" Koboshi half-shrieked as she burst into the private ward and scaring the purple-haired boy to no avail.

He had been asleep for at least two days, which caused a bit of anxiety between his friends, but as soon as he'd woken up this very morning, they had come to visit instantly; despite the fact that it wasn't exactly visiting hours… and they also had school.

The small spotless room didn't have much and was insanely white; like all other hospital rooms before and after it. There was a window that overlooked the actual city in which they lived in, and the television hung overhead at a slant, the remote sitting at the head of the single bed that there was. There were three seats next to it as well; one having been occupied by his father, who had come to keep an eye on him for a while before having to go back to work.

"Koboshi-chan… Ten-chan…" murmured Kotarou, smiling when he caught sight of them. "Sorry about all this…"

"Yeah, you're telling me!" commented Takashi, who had Shino in tow, "Do you know how freaking worried the other two were! Geez, the next time you pull that stunt with us I'm going to KILL you!"

And obvious joke, but it didn't stop the blonde-haired girl shooting him a glare, as they took seats around his bed, settling themselves down while Shino climbed to the foot of her cousin's bed. She blinked, staring at the bandages around his arms and neck.

"Onii-chan…" she began softly, tugging at his blanket unconsciously, "Onii-chan got hurt… but was visited with Onee-chan."

"Onee-chan being… Misha-san?" asked Koboshi, curious as to why the little girl would say such a thing, "Is that what you mean, Shino-chan?"

Shino nodded firmly, "Misha-onee-chan helped onii-chan and that's why onii-chan came back from the sky where mama and grampa are now!"

Takashi raised a questioning eyebrow at this, but then shrugged and faced his friend, who was watching his cousin with wide eyes, "You know, she's a strange kid, that one. Awfully cute, but strange."

Grinning, Koboshi elbowed him in the side, "Ooh, Ten-chan actually doesn't act like a dork sometimes. That is just so funny, you know! And at least she doesn't have an inflated ego like you!"

"Hey, who ever said that I had an inflated ego?"

Laughing at the two began to argue, Kotarou pulled Shino up and hugged her lightly, actually glad of her company. Sure, she was – in many ways – his responsibility, but she was also family, which meant many things. And she seemed to know about these sorts of things, although she hadn't been able to see angels, but that was a good thing.

"You miss Misha-san, don't you?" he asked. "Because she's gone now?"

The little girl shook her head, "Misha-nee's always with us. She's always watching us. You didn't know that, onii-chan?"

He hugged her again, not even noticing the single tear that fell across his face as he smiled at her.

"I knew that… I always did…"

000

_**To wander the world alone, I try,**_

_**To walk, to seek, to live my life**_

_**Without you by my side, I wonder**_

_**Is it truly possible for me?**_

_**But I know that you'll always watch out for me**_

_**To guide me in the right direction**_

_**To attempt to protect me from pains in life**_

_**Allowing me to learn about what is right.**_

_**I learnt this so long ago, I walk this path alone**_

_**But sometimes, I wonder**_

_**Am I really that alone?**_

_**Aren't there others standing with me? By my side?**_

_**Even now, you try to teach me about life, to keep me going**_

_**So thank you.**_

_**Thank you.**_

000

Whoa, was that totally unrealistic or what! I mean, sure, I could never kill him in the end, and all, but still… it's just one of those things. But they're all happy now and… yeah.

Only the epilogue left. Whee.

Miharu Shimizu: Well, he came close to death, but I suppose that was still bad, huh? It's a short-ish sorta story, since you really can't lengthen something like this… or at least I can't, and thanks :) Whoa, you serious? You haven't asked me yet… but I would be so… honored if you did place it on your website! I've been there a couple of times and it's really nice :D

j6girl: Here's the update! XD

Kyuubi-Tenshi: Thanks D

Oh, and while we're on this topic, please read my new Pita-ten fic (Within the Shadows) which, despite being AU, will hopefully turn out well and… yeah. I need your support everyone and I really, really appreciate it! Thanks again!


	8. Epilogue: To the Heavens

Disclaimers: I don't own it.

Just a little thing about Misha returning and… yeah. Thus is the epilogue.

000

Epilogue: To the Heavens

_Even before she had returned, Misha knew that she was in for the dressing down of a lifetime. She had disobeyed orders, and although she was a full-fledged angel, she was only supposed to stay in the heavens and keep a watch a good distance away. Humans were very vulnerable; especially those who could see the spiritual side of things. And it was because of her close friendship with Kotaroh that it had happened, but she never meant to. She had loved him, but she loved Kotarou as well. The same person yet so different now. It was a mystery that would never be solved; but it didn't matter._

_He hadn't wanted to die, like Kotaroh, and that was the reason why she was able to speak to him within the line between the three separate planes. All Kotaroh had wanted was to be with her, because there was no one else on the Surface World who loved him and treated him equally; but he had been given a chance as Kotarou, and he had taken it. So it was only right that he was given a chance to return to his body._

_But she really was going to get it, wasn't she?_

_As expected, her blonde-haired sister was on her in a flash, scowling angrily._

"_Do you have ANY idea as to how worried we were! You know that you're not supposed to go to the surface world on your own!" she yelled._

"_Sacchan… you're too loud…" whined Misha, covering her ears and looking around, "And I'm a full-fledged angel nowy-wow. You can't always keep an eye on me…"_

"_That's what you think!" snapped Sasha, "But I am supervising you in case still! And you've been away for so long! Do you know how much trouble you're in, young lady!"_

_The pink-haired angel winced. "Suu… but Kotarou-kun… he's…"_

"_He is no longer of your charge, Misha. You can't have him relying on you all the time like—"_

"_Misha had a VERY good reason, Sasha." A new voice pointed out, cutting short the blonde's rant at her younger sister. A woman approached them, smiling softly as Sasha flushed angrily. "And I think that it was of a very good cause. I was just speaking to the PTB, so I believe that they are aware of the situation with one Higuchi Kotarou."_

_Sasha deflated, "I… I understand."_

_The woman's smile widened as she patted the blonde on the shoulder, "I am sure you can get the details from them for now. I wish to speak to Misha."_

"_Yes… Himeka-san…"_

_The look on the blonde's face was almost comical as she shot Misha a warning glare that read 'you haven't heard the last from me' as she stalked off, ignoring the angels around that stared after her, forgetting about whatever they'd been doing, and this left the pink-haired girl with the older woman._

"_Himeka-san…" she began, but stopped as the woman embraced her tightly._

"_I'm so glad…" Himeka whispered, "I thought it was going to happen again… I couldn't stand the thought of him… like that… so soon…"_

"_Kotarou-kun's gonna be okay, suu," Misha perked up helpfully._

_Pulling away, the purple-haired woman smiled, "Yes. I know that now. And I want to thank you for that, Misha._

"_Thank you for giving my son a second chance."_

000 Owari 000

Note that Himeka's name came from Kamichama Karin (Koge-Donbo's most recent manga and all… so go read it! It's coming out soon…) and, in this story, she's Kotarou's… mother! Like it wasn't obvious. And thus, they lived happily ever after. The end.

j6girl: Here it is!

Miharu Shimizu: Thanks :D

Again, please read (and review, if possible) Within the Shadows. I'm going to be putting up some other Pita-ten fics (Demon in Disguise and Winter Snow; both with the main storyline) so please read them when they're put up! Thanks for all your support! Love you all!


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